[the aliens he met before were very cute. but also, saya is very cute. maybe those aliens also had a scarier form they didn't show. he's...actually quite genuinely able to take these things in stride. saya is a bloodthirsty little gremlin, but she has feelings and she cares about people, even if mostly just certain ones. anybody who cares about others is a person who can be gotten through to, so there's not really anything all that terrifying about it. it's just a physical characteristic.]
That must have been hard - to have someone you cared about like that make that decision.
[noticing my typo in the previous tag too late... noooooo...
she shrugs, crossing her arms in a poor imitation of a hug. it's been a little over a month and, sure, she's met more people that she's come to care about since then. but the fact remains that they have to make it home at some point, and in her case—]
Yes. Always. [he'll be bluntly honest right now. maybe it'll actually do some good for once.] Mm, Saya, your situation is different in some ways, but in other ones, it's not. There's nothing unusual about being afraid of being judged for who you are inside. Or even the fear that if you were judged, it could be a fair judgment.
I think I've spent a lot of time stubbornly insisting people pretend to believe things about me I know they don't really believe because even being judged based on something we both know is a facade is less frightening than the prospect of someone seeing who I honestly am and disliking me.
But that only gets you by for so long. In the end, I think the only way to ever have a chance to be accepted is to face up to that risk of rejection. And likewise, the pain of rejection is not so terrible that it's worth avoiding it and ending up alone.
[god. the way she really appreciates this and can't even properly express it because she is cursed, but... maybe he can still tell, from the way her expression softens. if only for a moment.]
... Maybe. But it's not usually who I am inside, you know. I probably won't look like this anymore when we go home. [this is her humansona. original oc dns.] Have you... gotten rejected before? For being the real you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That must have been hard - to have someone you cared about like that make that decision.
no subject
she shrugs, crossing her arms in a poor imitation of a hug. it's been a little over a month and, sure, she's met more people that she's come to care about since then. but the fact remains that they have to make it home at some point, and in her case—]
He... was all I had.
[quietly. in the tiniest voice.]
no subject
I know what that's like. But that can change.
no subject
... Yeah? I bet you know what that's like. [who did this. she is so sorry.] What changed for you?
no subject
[still stubbornly hugging her!]
Letting one person in tends to open the door to a lot of others, too, I think.
no subject
she hums.]
Aren't you scared? If you let them in and they leave you anyway, then you'll be worse off than you started.
no subject
Yes. Always. [he'll be bluntly honest right now. maybe it'll actually do some good for once.] Mm, Saya, your situation is different in some ways, but in other ones, it's not. There's nothing unusual about being afraid of being judged for who you are inside. Or even the fear that if you were judged, it could be a fair judgment.
I think I've spent a lot of time stubbornly insisting people pretend to believe things about me I know they don't really believe because even being judged based on something we both know is a facade is less frightening than the prospect of someone seeing who I honestly am and disliking me.
But that only gets you by for so long. In the end, I think the only way to ever have a chance to be accepted is to face up to that risk of rejection. And likewise, the pain of rejection is not so terrible that it's worth avoiding it and ending up alone.
no subject
... Maybe. But it's not usually who I am inside, you know. I probably won't look like this anymore when we go home. [this is her humansona. original oc dns.] Have you... gotten rejected before? For being the real you?
no subject
[because he hasn't ever really tried it.]
Sorry if that's a disappointing answer. Is that what you'll do, when this is over? Go home?