memshare: return to your old life.

[squelching]

There is a corpse on the kitchen floor.

Everything hurts. You are choking on your own tears. The coppery scent of blood lingers in the air like a miasma. But at least, for now, Fuminori is here and he is holding you in his arms.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." you mumble over and over again, before he pulls your head into his chest.

"Don't say that. It's not your fault."

But he doesn't get it. You shake your head. The cooling corpse on the floor did not try to hurt you, to rip you to shreds, on a whim. "No, it is," you tell him. "I did it."

"You did... what?" Fuminori asks, slowly. He doesn't understand and that's your fault, too. You've been holding out on him.

"I messed with his brain," you answer, glancing at the dismembered corpse while blinking back your tears. "I made the inside of his head the same as yours. I made him see the world like you do."

It takes a moment for Fuminori to respond. "What? But... how?"

You pull back to stare at him with your tear-streaked face. "I can do stuff like that." you tell him, in a low voice. "I can change the bodies of other living things. I've had this ability since I was born."

But Fuminori does not reply.

He simply stares at you in shock, so you continue.

"Every living organism is different," you explain. "So I have to study them in detail before I know how to change them. By doing some research, I figured out what happened to your brain. So... I wanted to see if I could do the same thing to someone else."

"But..." Fuminori begins, still staring at you. "Why?"

"I thought that if everyone were like you," you reply, feeling so, so stupid, "they would all... be kind to me. But that man — he wasn't kind at all."

Before you know it, you start crying all over again. Fuminori gently rubs your back.

"You think that I'm kind to you because of the accident?"

You nod, sadly. "Yeah..."

"You're wrong," Fuminori says. "That was only the beginning."

You make a little noise, questioning.

"Our relationship is the sum of so much more. The time you and I have spent together — those days, those experiences, are what made us what we are."

"Fuminori..."

"You've been there for me, Saya. Sharing my pain, giving me hope and joy. That's how you became so important to me. See? It's harder than you think."

You sniff and rub at your face. "Yeah, I understand," you say, smiling a little. "I finally understand. I only have you, Fuminori. There will never be anyone else."

There will never be anybody else in this world who would be willing to care for you like this. Sure, your dad was there once upon a time — but he's been gone for months. You don't know if you'll ever see him again. If he even wants to see you again.

But—

There is something you need to know before you allow yourself to believe it's okay for things to stay like this.

You press a bloody finger to Fuminori's lips as soon as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Fuminori," you quietly say, "tell me one thing. What do you want?"

"What do I... want?"

You nod, staring at him. Searching for something you're scared to find in his expression.

"Like I said, I can affect the bodies of living things in a way that nothing else can. And now that I've learned how to manipulate human brains..." You trail off, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I can turn you back to normal."

"... What?" Fuminori replies, breathlessly. You're sure he thought the damage done to his brain could never be fixed — that he would never be rid of the condition that caused him to see you as another human being, and every other person in the world as a grotesque monster.

"I just have to do the opposite of what I did to that man. It's... really simple," you reply. "So tell me, Fuminori. Do you want to return to your old life? Do you want to take back what you lost in the accident?"

You pretend that it doesn't feel like he's taken a knife to your heart when he immediately replies. "Well, of course. If it's possible to go back, then I want to... I think."

"Oh..." you breathe out, careful to keep your voice level. "Yeah, of course you would." You asked and this is what he wanted. You can't blame him for wanting to go back to a normal life, even though that means you can't be part of it. To tell the truth, you've been scared of the way he has been changing lately. Of what being a part of your world has done to him.

His face is smeared with another man's blood. A kitchen knife sits on the floor, covered in gore. You smile at him.

Fuminori stares back. You do not allow yourself to closely examine the expression on his face.

"Hey, Saya, I..."

You cannot allow him to speak.

"It's okay, Fuminori. Don't say anymore."

So, you knock him unconscious before you get to work.

And then you make sure that you are gone when he wakes up in the morning, like you were never a part of his life in the first place.